call me crazy....just not to my face

Recently, I had a conversation with someone who told me I expect too much of my friends. We got to this topic because I was frustrated with another friend who had just basically fallen off-planet when she moved away and only communicated via Facebook, and only about once every couple of months. Prior to now, she and I spoke a few times/week about everything from school to relationships to how to pack a good, solid bowl without getting that shit in our teeth. I tend to suck too hard. It's my cross to bear.

So this bitch, er, "friend," told me that I need to stop expecting everyone to drop everything when I'm sad and get over myself. She went on to tell me that she often feels like she'll never be a good enough friend to me because I expect too much. So here's where it gets fuzzy. And by fuzzy, I mean, my pulse races and I feel a might stabby.

I don't think it's too much to ask that when things go awry on one's life, I have someone who is available emotionally through the good, bad and especially the ugly. I'd like to be able to pick up a phone and comfortably (trust) tell a friend how shitty my day/week/month/life is and vent a bit. I don't think it's too much to ask to take an emotional deuce on someone other than my boyfriend. He's not licensed to therapize me and he's ill-equipped for the crazy sometimes.

My main defense of the "don't be a dick just listen when I need you to" theory is this: I would/will/often do do (heh) the same for you. I am the most available person ever when it comes to folks I care about having a shit-fit over drinks, coffee or shopping. I never screen calls (no call waiting or caller ID, but still) and am always willing to get kicked in the nuts by your life for a few hours, as it gives said nuts a refreshing break from my crazy and presents them with a new brand.

So fuck you, fair weather theorists, "shit's too real, must make up a reason not to talk to you" people. Everyone seems to think that because I'm outspoken, gregarious and strong-willed that I don't have bad days. I'm not stupid, do (contrary to popular belief) have feelings and a soul, and need someone in my life to handle the ridiculous shit I run into occasionally. I don't ask for much-just someone who uses the word "friend" and means it all the time, not just when it's safe. I shouldn't have to beg for life support.