reality t.v. , namely American Idol, affects me...dammit.

First of all, I use the word "reality" very very loosely here. Reality television is not real, it's just one big audition for a narcissistic career in some form of celebrity. And of course I love it.

So I'm watching American Idol right now, which I have actually never done before. I've watched the "holy crap, that was horrible, what were they thinking" auditions they put on YouTube. But never the actual show in its entirety. This is mainly because I hate Paula Abdul with the fire of a thousand suns. I have never forgiven her for that "Hush, Hush" video with Keanu Reeves. But now that she's gone, and Ellen Degeneres is in, I'm more inclined to put myself through this shit.

It's the beginning part where they hold auditions and it's actually kind of awesome. They're in Atlanta, and if nothing else redeems this show for me, Mary J. Blige is guest-hosting. Now, if you don't know me (like REALLY know me), then you'll not know of my absolute love of Mary J. Blige. I adore that woman and everything she sings. Her music lifted me up during a shady ass time in my life a few years back, and I will buy anything and everything she ever puts out. Even if it's a Burger King commemorative cup. I will buy the SHIT out of that cup.

So the last girl I watched tonight before I had to go check on dinner was Vanessa from some taint-town in Tennessee. I can say that--I'm from Edmond, Oklahoma. Shit's tiny. Look it up.

OK, so Vanessa. She was super cute and actually had a fantastic voice. It's country and very twangy. If you close your eyes, she's a cross between Reba and Patsy Cline. And those are MAH GIRLS. Vanessa is the quintessential small-town girl trying to make something of herself and get out of aforementioned taint-town in Tennessee. It's a pretty standard story, but she hit a chord with me because she sang Old Crow Medicine Show's, "Wagon Wheel." That's one of my favorite songs of all time. Old Crow is the DEAL.

Spoiler Alert: In spite of my spiny exterior, I do have a soft spot for a good, heartwarming story and I cry. YES, I FUCKING CRY. *angry fist*

Point is, I am feeling myself slowly busting down some of that hard candy shell I've built up around me since Katrina and I kinda like it. I'm not giving American Idol the credit for that bust-out; that'd be really embarrassing.

I'm just acknowledging it after hearing the simple song of a country girl from taint-town Tennessee.