So my boyfriend is obsessed with nuts--truck nuts. He saw them on a Ford Focus one day driving down the highway and he was hooked. Ever since, he's been trying to convince me why it would be "really badass" to get some truck nuts, attach them to a belt and strap them to our neutered Doberman, Paco.
Now, Paco is 7 years old, floppy ears--we think he's part Weimeraner. Though, I'm not convinced he's not part elephant...brings to mind elephantitis, since I'm unforgivingly obsessed with word play.
Which brings me back to truck nuts.
Tonight, whilst we waited for our cookie-sheet full of tater tots to finish cooking, we had yet another conversation about the merits of strapping truck nuts to our dog.
Russ keeps trying to get me to go see remakes of movies that never should be touched due to their purity of awesomeness (i.e. Nightmare on Elm Street, True Grit...) and I keep telling him no. I refuse. Even the new Tron movie is not on my list. The first one was enough, not going to the "new, non-remake, yet sequel of Tron."
But Russell insists. So I make a deal with him: I'll go see that CGI bullshit on-a-stick of he drives me to the movies.
HISTORY: Russell is 39 years old and has never had a driver's license. Growing up in New Orleans, never saw the need....this is a big deal for him to take a driver's test in Vermont and drive period, let alone in upcoming winter weather.
He agrees and says, "DEAL! I'll drive you to the movies on a date to see True Grit or Tron 2...but only if Paco can get some truck nuts."
Cocky fucker.
When I ask the relevance of the truck nuts to our movie date/transportation deal, he cites Paco's need for a boost in self-esteem, and that all the other dogs will respect him more if he has, and I quote, "YUGE danglers."
Why do I even bother.
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